The Effects of Tequila
by KatieLeanne17
Summary: The comsumption of alcohol can bring out the worst in people and turtles.So when Raph, Mike and Casey consume it in large quantities, no one knows whar happened. Why is Raph's Sai missing and why is Don talking about Casey and Mikey's ugly babies?


"Raphael!" Casey Jones' rough voice echoed throughout the sewer lair that his best friend occupied. The red clad turtle walked out of his second-story bedroom, looking grumpy. Earlier that day, Leo and Splinter had gone out to spend the night training no one knew where, and Don had gone out to the dump to try to scavenge some parts for his DVD player. Consequentially, this meant that he had been left alone with Mikey, who also came out of his room to see what Casey was yelling about.

Casey ginned and tossed a bottle to Raphael, who also grinned. He swished the amber contents around appreciatively, and twisted the cap off. He was about to take a swig of the tequila when he caught sight of Mikey.

"Mikey," Raph started, intent on telling his innocent little brother to go back to his room. But Mikey surprised him by holding his hand out.

"Give me some," he stated simply. Raph dumbly held out the bottle and Mikey took a swig, not even making a face as the alcohol burned a path down his throat. He handed the bottle back to Raph.

"When did you start drinking?" Raph and Casey asked simultaneously.

"You aren't the only rebel in the family, Raph," Mikey grinned. Casey whooped and took a swig out of a second bottle he produced. Raph grinned and chugged some of the bottle before handing it back to Mikey.

A few hours later, Casey, Raph and Mikey were all completely trashed and laying on the floor. Casey was lying by Mikey's feet and Raph had his eyes closed and was humming contentedly to himself. Casey rolled over, towards Mikey's feet at the same time Mike broke out in a fit of random laughter. Raph opened his eyes and saw, from his position on the ground, what looked like Casey sucking Mikey's feet.

"Dude, you're trying to get with my brother!" Raph jumped up wildly and pointed a shaking hand at Casey. The other two boys jumped up and promptly fell back down. Raph lunged at Casey, but missed by a mile. Casey flipped onto his stomach and started flailing his arms and legs wildly.

"You'll never catch me! I'll swim the English Channel and be sipping tea with the Queen!" he stopped suddenly and switched topics. "I want to go swimming."

"Me too!" Mikey chorused. Raph agreed and the three supported each other and walked unstably out of the lair, Raph in the middle after vehemently declaring that he wouldn't give Casey the chance to grope his poor little brother again.

"This is perfect!" Casey jumped up and down outside a padlocked, barbed wire chain link fence. He was standing outside of a golf course with a pool in it, in fact.

"But we can't get in!" Mikey complained loudly, and started jumping up and down.

"But you're ninja! You can just break the damn thing open!" Casey yelled back, waving his hands wildly in emphasis. Raph took out his sai and, after ten failed attempts and multiple cuts to Mikey by pure accident and as a warning to Casey to stay away from his brother, the gate was flung open.

No sooner had the gate been picked than a night guard in a golf cart came by, shining a light in their faces. Raph's mind went into overdrive, and he did the first thing he could think of.

"We are not here. We're ghosts! ABOO!!!" he called, wiggling his fingers ominously. Casey and Mikey fell into major laughing fits, clinging to each other to stay standing. However, when they did this, Raph turned around to see them. "See, now you are embracing in your love fest and trying to woo my brother again!"

"No, wesh didn'tsh. Nooothing we did is in love." Mikey was slurring badly and still laughing. For seemingly no reason, he raised his hands to the stunned and paralyzed night guard and wiggled his fingers as Raph had done. Casey joined in and the two began laughing again.

"I'm calling the cops!" the night guard seemed to regain his motor abilities. However, Raph brandished his sai and began chasing the other two, making the stunned night guard fear for his life and drive off.

"Is some people's gonna die?" Casey echoed a saying he had heard years ago and began flailing his hands wildly at the same time as running from Raph. Once Raph caught up with him, he hugged him tightly with one hand and caught Mikey with the other.

"I love you guys!" he yelled and started to sleep. The other two looked at each other as they picked him up to carry him home. Casey sounded relatively sober for once as he voiced a question on his mind.

"Dude, are we that sloshed too?" he questioned, causing Mikey into more fits of giggles.

The next morning, Mike, Raph and Casey all woke up on the couch with splitting headaches. Don came in, carrying three glasses of water and a bottle of aspirin.

"You're lucky," his tone of voice told the others quite clearly he was annoyed with them. "Master Splinter and Leo won't be back for another half hour."

"Thanks Donnie," Mikey chugged his water, wincing slightly.

"Yeah, you're a lifesaver," Raph agreed as Casey nodded.

"Does anyone remember what happened last night?" Mikey asked, staring at his scabbed hands.

"No…what happened to my sai?" Raph asked, feeling in his shell and only finding one. Mike had a sudden image of Raph falling asleep and dropping his sai as Casey and he carried him home. Don's face grew more and more sour the more he listened to the conversation.

"I think I know," he said and turned on the television. A news broadcast from earlier that morning was replaying, a broadcast which Donnie had evidently seen.

An old man with a toothless grin was telling his story and holding in his hand Raph's sai.

"So then this one guy and two others in really bad turtle costumes started telling me they were ghosts. I think the one in red was schizophrenic and grief stricken at the fact that the other two males were romantically involved and he was just acting out." Donnie turned off the television, a small smirk playing at the corners of his mouth.

"So you two are now 'Romantically involved' huh?" he questioned. The three others blushed, not remembering what happened last night. Mikey and Casey stared at each other in horror, not knowing if they really had been "romantically involved" or not. Donnie looked between them and sighed. He walked out of the room, shaking his head and muttering something along the lines of "thank god their both guys or else they would have the ugliest babies."

Raph looked at Casey before brandishing his remaining sai.

"You and MY little brother? You sick, perverted bastard! Taking advantage of him when he was drunk!" Raph lunged at Casey, who ran out of the lair with strange thoughts of tea and the English Channel in his mind, though he had no idea why…

END!

A/N: Okay, so once again, this is based on something that happened to my brother, his friend and me a few years back. Only my dad wasn't quite so nice as Donnie was at the end and helped my brother to chase his friend. And the guard didn't see us, so it was only mentioned in passing an "attempted break-in at a golf course" even though it wasn't really. Obviously our story was different as none of us our turtles and I'm a girl and so it wasn't "two males romantically involved" as it was a brother grief stricken at his sisters involvement with his friend. lol.


End file.
